I've had chronic depression for 3 1/2 years. I'm now 21 years old and living on my own, working with this chronic depression has made it extremely difficult to move forward with my life. I want to go to college like I planned, I want to prepare to be a good mother and wife later in life and debt free. I have rejected credit cards and anything that would put me into debt, but debt found me. I had to go to the ER with medical problems and without medical insurance, I can't pay the bills I owe medically. I made a mistake with my phone bill. A simple one, which unfortunately lots of people have done as well and it's not too high to pay down. $1500 in medical debt and $800 in phone bill to pay off. My parents never had much money and honestly, weren't able to teach me much on how to live on my own successfully. I am struggling to maintain myself financially and mentally. I would like to go on anti-depressants to help me be more successful when I make the effort to put my life back together, but anti-depressants for me are expensive without medical insurance. I don't qualify for medical insurance because they say I'd have to pay $700 to the government to recieve aid. I forget now why, but I can't pay the government $700 to get assistance financially since I'm already in need of financial help. I'm overwhelmed and lost on being independant. Everyday is an emotional ride for me and I'm ready to do what needs to be done to move forward with my life. I've come to the conclusion that I can't defeat my depression on my own. I've tried and struggled against it over and over and it's a fight I keep losing and I fear will continue to lose to if I don't do something about it before it takes over more areas of my life. I need help, something to get me back on the road again.

Hi, my name is Crystal. I'm a 21 year old, single, working, living on my own. I've had chronic depression for about 3 1/2 years now. My parents both work at walmart so they can't help me much financially in any aspect. I tried going to college right out of high school and did okay until halfway through, the room mates I had made it difficult to get school work done, but not just that, working long hours and going to school full time, living on my own, was a killer for me. I've been extremely discouraged to go to college, though I want to get my degree. I've had a very hard time having hope for my life though I'm sure it's not that bad. I want to get on anti-depressants to balance out of my mind. It feels so out of whack. Sometimes reality doesn't feel real and I feel like I'm going crazy. I think that if I got on anti-depressants, the things I do to try and get back on my feet again will help me stay on my feet. I have the motivation at times, but I can't seem to maintain it for long. My moods are up and down constantly, bi-polar if you will. It's been a very long 3 1/2 years struggling with this thing. I want to be well again. I want to be happy again and looking forward to having a family someday with a great husband and wonderful children. I had so many good goals and dreams before this depression came on. It is like a ditch that you just constantly fall into whenever you attempt to stay out. Almost like quicksand..the harder you struggle, the quicker you fall in. I just want to be normal again. The overwhelming emotions of loneliness, hopelessness, despair and fear control most aspects of my life at this point, socially, with work, with family, with myself. If there is anything anyone can do, I would greatly appreciate it. I have come to think that I can't defeat this monster on my own. I need help and I don't really know where to turn to.